Tuesday, January 10, 2012

A typical morning hunt...(Warning Sarcasm!)

     Let me just pull my rig in here by the gate and get 'er unlocked. There we go..."Hey Joe, can you drop the tailgate on the trailer and unload the Bad Boy Buggy?" They'll never here us coming...Good thing we brought it with us. A quarter mile hike into the stand is a looooong walk! Shew...Better get my gear out of the carbon infused storage container. Now where did I put it??? Nope, that's my Yeti cooler, best $300 I ever spent on a cooler. If we ever have to drive cross country and keep our drinks frozen or transport organs for a transplant surgery, I'll be 'da man! Here it is! Man, this new scent eliminating NASA approved camo is the bomb! Forget the wind, just hunt! Yeah! Now where did I put my new synthetic rattling antlers???

     Let's see...got everything. Better hop in, it's almost daylight! Wonder if I ought to get a new bow...hmmm? Mine's only two years old, but this year's model claims to be 10 feet per second faster and it's made out of moon rocks or carbon fiber or something like that anyway! Say it only weighs ounces and it looks sooooo cool. All the guys on TV use it and they kill lots of deer, so it must work! Maybe next year. I'm maxed out on my loans and don't think I could find an extra grand laying around to buy it. Boy, this groomed path to the stand is great! Like driving through a golf course...awesome!

      Here we are...our elevated, fiberglass, carpeted blind. Looks comfy and warm! Make sure I have all my gear, yup. Camoed head to toe. They will NEVER see me...wait, if I'm in an enclosed, elevated hut, do I really need the camoflauge??? Oh well, I look bad ass in this get up! Besides, I got a smokin' deal on it at Cabela's...

     Man, it sure was nice of the ranch owner to pre-scout this spot. He has tons of trail camera photos of mega bucks coming into the feeder. Sure are lots of big antlers on this place. Must be the super, duper, antler in a bag food plot seed he put out...Just for good measure, let me dump out 5 gallons of C'mere deer. Yeah, that's it. They will come runnin' in!

     Ohhhh, it is cozy up here. Better take a range to the feeder. Yup, the laser range finder says 17 yards, perfect! It even compensates for angle...whatever that means. Yep, any big, 'ol shooter buck comes in to eat and he's toast. These arrows are lethal! My mechanical broadheads are the latest and greatest! The commercial says it's like throwing an ax through an animal...man that's so cool...hehe.

     I just love this hunting stuff!!! (Tongue planted firmly in cheek)

     I bet old Fred Bear is doing somersaults in his grave...